I literally failed to leave the house on some day of the week because all my clothes were dirty. My clothes were dirty because I had been ultra busy the last weeks that I wore everything in my wardrobe without pausing to wash. So, I spent a whole night washing, and had to sleep through the next day.
A man washing clothes (photo credit mondlaneministries.blogspot.com)
While doing the washing, a married male friend started telling me how women enjoy seeing us male suffer through washing. I asked why that is so. He replied, that to women, washing is a simple core, yet it is so hard for men. We argued a better half of an hour on whether we men would lose our hands if we washed for ourselves more often. We debated gender roles, cooking and the like and why we should insist that men can’t do such things.
I knew the debate was ripe for an end when he asked me if I were suggesting that men should also get pregnant. I do not know yet why many of us men confuse things we have created for ourselves like gender roles with biological things. Do we still think we can fool the world about what is biological and what is social? Anyway, I washed a large part of the clothes that night and left the rest for other nights.
I delayed in class the next day, so had to jump onto a bodaboda to reach home before 10:00pm. This boda boda rider was very emotional it could show in the way he was riding. Slowly, I waited for him to open up to me, as we made small talk, and it did not take long before he did. He told me he had just slept with a sex-worker who offered him a round, without a condom at the same price for a condomised round.
He was worried for his life. He was bemoaning his inability to control himself, which in turn made it hard to negotiate for condomised sex. He was asking himself why this sex worker, he says his favorite on the stage had offered live services this night. She had told him that it was a weekly offer for regular customers to last the week the Women’s Day is, but this was not convincing for him. I regretted why I had willed the man to tell me his tale.
So, today, the International Women’s Day came. And guess what; men took it on themselves to show how sexist they can be, how protective of their male privilege they can be by posting very sexist messages on their Facebook timelines in the name of wishing the women a great women’s day. From saying that women need men to survive, to asking women to suffer in silence to show strength, the day seems pretty much one for celebrating male privilege and partriachy. Till Next Friday.